Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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