We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
