I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
