You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
