ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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