To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
