I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
