i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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