I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
of course. lets lasso hookers.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
