just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Randomize
