It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize