Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Randomize
