sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
