Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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