i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
