A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
