mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
