Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
