I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize