He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
There r osticjed everywhere
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
