I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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