so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Woke up backwards on a recliner
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
