normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
