Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
honey bunches of taint.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
