Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
