After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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