Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
You've changed since you got that strap on
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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