I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
