Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
be right there i have to get my cape
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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