how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
