$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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