Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize