i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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