you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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