i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
