Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
