I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
