did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
