My nipple is on Facebook.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
