Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Randomize