Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
