Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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