Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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