So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
