He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
