Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
