Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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