I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
