Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
