I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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