Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
