No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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