hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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