If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
