Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
We had sex on a dog bed..
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
