Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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