But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize