i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
