You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
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