I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Randomize
