she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
