she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
