DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
